You can’t make this kind of stuff up II

Posted on September 8, 2007, 10:28 pm, by ABaN, under News and Politics.


A while back I posted You can’t make this kind of stuff up. It was fairly well received, but until now I hadn’t had anything good enough to put in. Well I’m happy to report after listening to the news this afternoon on the radio I have found something worth while.

Womans sets fire to neighbors home over stolen keys
This is really an article you need to read for yourself, but I’ll summarize it for you as best I can.

  1. 23 year old woman can’t find keys
  2. Decides her neighbor has stolen them
  3. Breaks into the neighbors trailer, trashes it, apparently steals some stuff, and sets it on fire (she can’t even set the fire right)
  4. Her boyfriend finds her hiding in the bushes, watching things, incoherent and babbling about stolen keys
  5. Being a kind, good hearted boyfriend he gently points out to her that the missing keys are hanging from her pocket

When I say you can’t make this stuff up, I mean it.

Author jailed for writing about murder he committed
This isn’t exactly an original idea as it has appeared in numerous books, movies, and television shows. What does make this weird is that someone was actually stupid enough to try it. Everyone knows that the detective always happens to read the book and solve the case. Well everyone but this guy apparently.

Airline sacrifices goats to appease sky gods
I’m not entirely sure what to add to something like this. I suppose a summary is once again in order.

  1. Nepal airlines discovers mechanical problems with ONE of its 757 aircraft
  2. Nepal airlines sacrifices two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god in front of the troublesome aircraft
  3. Nepal airline spokeman states “The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights”
  4. Everyone goes on their merry and happy ways. Except the goats of course.

I love the news. Really, I do. It makes me laugh.

Comment (RSS)  |  Trackback
  • Sri - Yeah I suppose it is that
  • Sri
    Maybe we could title this programme 'News
    you can use'
  • Dave J - Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to make a comment, but I have to be real honest here. I'm not sure what any of those stories have to do with police brutality. For that matter I'm confused as to what they have to do with corporal punishment or the police at all?

    Happily - That it is, that it is.

    Marco - Oh it's accepted as perfectly normal in India so yes I'm pretty sure they are aware of it. On would hope that they also have a mechanic checking things out as well, but I have no idea.

    Jeremy - The story about the keys was to me the saddest one of all. I can't imagine what happened in that girls mind.

    Joe - I'm with you. I can't say I'd be terribly comfortable by the whole thing.
  • How'd you like to be one of the passengers, sitting patiently on the plane, waiting for takeoff, while they perform their "maintenance?"

    Excuse me, this is where I get off.
  • These stories are amazingly hilarious. I particularly like the story about the woman's lost keys. Ah, trailer parks, the backside of Americana.
  • I really like the goat story. Wonder if their passengers are aware of their maintenance procedures?
  • The odd news category is always a good source/inspiration for a blog post.
  • Dave J
    True stories that are not funny. Yes. Try looking into some of the unbelievable police brutality and school zero-tolerance stories out there that show how undeserving people have been hurt by senseless policies and rules. And then the really stupid ones (you covered this already) like Austen Haley dying because a police officer was too stupid to act rationally with a deadly weapon. None are funny. But, like you said, can't make this stuff up.

    The only times I got corporal punishment as a child were those times that I CHOSE to be stupid. The lesson I learned was that I must stop and think, no matter how hard it was to do so, or suffer pain. There seem to be a lot of people that need to learn that stupidity hurts, and it's better to suffer the pain of thinking.

    Cheers
  • arto - Write a book and see what happens.

    David - I wouldn't say any of those new pieces were for entertaining. In the first one it sounds like the girl had some kind of a breakdown, and she's probably ruined her life because of it. Nothing entertaining about that.

    In the second one some one murdered another person. Not entertaining.

    In the third the sacrificed goats to fix an aircraft's problems. Not funny at all.

    What they are is nearly unbelievable except the fact that they are actually real news stories.
  • These days most news are for entertaining purposes. We hardly get real news that can really impact our lives in the U.S.
  • arto
    haha these are great.... no way you can make that up... but you can make a made up story with all these combined. Example:

    That author killed that woman for burning down his house, wrote about it in complete detail, in his book you'll also find a passage where he got Nepal airlines to kill some goats by telling them the plane was cursed by Akash Bhairab some crazy made up sky god. 'Confessions Part IV' is what he called the book.
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