How I became a blogging bad fat ass

It always amazes me what a tiny bit of motivation can do for us. In this instance “for us” is more appropriately “to me”. Let me start by saying I’ve never been a light weight. At least not since 4th grade when my appendix ruptured and it pummeled my appetite into submission. Blogging however takes it to a whole new level. No, level isn’t the right word. That denotes height in my mind. Another plane? Would that denote width? Nevermind, I’ll get on with what I’m actually saying.

Like I said I’ve never been a light weight, but I do try to keep things in check. I’m generally fairly active, but over the past 2 months I’ve been dedicating an inordinate amount of time to blogging. More exactly to learning about blogging. The writing part for me is easy. I do however find myself spending several hours each evening playing around on the internet and trying to learn. Hours that normally would have involved some physical activities. Hours that I’ve managed to fill with more bowls of ice cream, fresh baked brownies, and Hot Tamales (I’ve eaten so many I should own stake in Justborn, the makers of these evil candies). Of course I’ve always managed to supplement my junk food habit with good foods. Like high starch, seasoned (meaning enough sodium to kill half of China) snack like fries (chips for you folks across the pond).

Trust me you can hardly imagine my suprise when I tried to fit into a pair of pants that two months ago barely fit me then. To say I was astounded would be an understatement. I was, actually I still am, aghast at the injustice I have suffered. I’ve not weighed myself, because to be quite frank weight doesn’t matter. What matters is fat vs muscle percentage. Regardless I have way to much fat and not nearly enough muscle. So I’ve decided to make a few changes and share some tips with you that might help you lose an inch or two off your waist as well.

Garbage in, garbage out

Yes, it is true. What you put into your mouth is what you’ll get out of your body. Here’s a great guide to clean eating. When I’m not busy being stupid and stuffing my face with twinkies I swear by it. Ok, maybe “swear by it” is a bit to strong, but I certainly have experienced the benefits of half-hearted efforts.

Not all liquid is created equal

There is water and there is everything else. When it comes to nutrition “everything else” can be safely relegated to the garbage pile. The importance of drinking water, lots of water can not be overstated. Even if you do nothing but sit in front of a computer in a climate controlled environment all day long water is essential. What some people don’t realize is how important water is to weight loss and control. Instead of trying to convince you I’ll let someone else do that for me.

Soda or fruit juice?

Which one would you choose? Believe it or not fruit juice is as damnable to a person’s diet as a soda. In many cases it is actually worse. Most juices contain at least as much sugar, if not more, than the average soda of the same size. Want a double whammy? Most people will drink one soda, but they’ll drink gallons of juice. Yup, I’m guilty of that too. I guess it’s something about have the word “apple” or “orange” on the label. If I liked Cherry Coke I shudder to think what might happen. Oh and here’s a link for you to take a look at about juice being as bad as soda.

Fruits and vegetables

Fruit I love. Well most fruit, but I’m not a big fan of pineapples. Vegetables on the other hand I can’t stand. Both however are essential to reducing this problem. In case you hadn’t figured it out yet I have a huge sweet-tooth. Fruit satisfies that problem and I’d literally eat myself to death with fruit before I could possibly gain any fat from it. The problem for me are vegetables. As I said I can’t stand them. So they have to be raw, and fresh or I won’t touch them. But they’re essential. In fact even the US government says they’re important, and we all know we can trust the US government, right? Maybe not, but in this case they are right.

Typing a blog post is NOT activity

I don’t care how fast you type or how furiously you tab between application you are most certainly not exercising when you’re on the computer. In another post I extolled the virtues of getting away from the computer for short bursts of time. That is still important, but there has to be a concerted effort to actually exercise. We all know the standard 30 minutes of exercise a day routine, but even 10 minutes of high intensity exercise will do you good. In fact a short, high intensity anaerobic exercise session will do you more good than 3 hours of cardio work. Don’t believe me? Take two burpees and call me in the morning. One last added benefit to anaerobic exercise is that you will continue burning fat for hours after the workout is completed. Not so with cardiovascular exercise.

7 essential things you need

Here’s a quick list of things you’ll need to get yourself started.

• A doctor’s clearance - You high school glory days don’t count towards your physical prowess. Unless you happen to be a current student. Assume that you’ll drop dead if you do any exercise. Alleviate that concern with a quick trip to the doctor. He probably won’t even need to stick anything up your butt.
• A good pair of shoes - It should go without saying, but it doesn’t. Especially if you plan to do any running. Go to a shoe store that specializes in running shoes. Let them fit you as they will make sure you get the right pair of shoes.
• A gym membership - Unless you are incredibly wealthy chances are it makes a lot more sense to join a local gym. Even then it still makes more sense to join a gym. At least you’ll have spotters in a gym. Not to mention the tons of equipment you’ll have at your disposal. I recommend the YMCA as the best bang for your buck.
• A diet plan - That’s right plan your meals out ahead of time. Don’t worry about counting calories, just plan them out. Remember you’ll be eating 6 times a day. Three main meals and three snacks. It will help increase your metabolism. I can’t emphasis enough that these aren’t all full meals.
• A log book - How else will you track your progress?
• A sewing tape - Get one that fits around your waist. Take a measurement. From around your neck as well. Write them down in your log book. Do this every 2 weeks. After 3 months you should notice a difference.
• Motivation - This is the most important of all. Without motivation you’ll accomplish nothing.

I’ll stop there. At this point either you are with me or you are not. If you’re still here I’d like to make a challenge to you. Over the course of the next 3 months concentrate on eating healthy, and spending at least 15 minutes a day exercising. If you already eat healthy and exercise try to eat even healthier. It won’t matter how many people visit your blog if you fall over dead, or suffer a stroke. Anyone up for it?

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