If the name fits…

So last week I decided to take care of one of my twice yearly ear cleaning. Let me clarify because that doesn’t sound right. I mean a “deep” cleaning. With hydrogen peroxide, flushing and the whole bit. I won’t bore you with the details but basically you dump some hydrogen peroxide into the ear and stuff and cotton ball in there and let it work for about 5-10 minutes. If you’ve ever dumped hydrogen peroxide (from now on called HP cause I’m too lazy) on a wound you know how active it becomes. Now just imagine the stuff sitting in your ear while it’s doing that. The racket is maddening.

Anyhow there I was with this HP in my ear trying to keep myself from wanting to tear the side of my head off when all of a sudden I was overcome with a vision of pure brilliance. I decided I would “help” the HP with a Q-tip. In case you haven’t figured it out the HP loosens the hardened old wax in your ear canal and helps it to release from the surrounding skin. And there’s a reason you flush it out with water. Something I knew going into the whole thing but chose to forget at that particular moment.

Out comes the Q-tip and gets inserted directly into the ear and when I pull it out I can’t hear out of the offended ear. Not a damn thing. My first thought was “My God I ruptured my ear drum! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!” then I realized there was no pain so that was out of the question. My next though was “Thank you Lord for making it so I don’t have to go to work in the morning!” but that dream was crushed when I realized that it would be Sunday. Work or not I couldn’t hear out of the ear and was getting a little disturbed. I mean wouldn’t that just be my luck to find out I suffered a bout of “sudden onset deafness” or something nutty like that?

I finally had enough and made my way to the emergency room on Tuesday and after sitting in the lobby for 4 hours was seen by a doctor and a nurse who of course dutifully took my temperature, heart-rate, and blood pressure. Doctor looked in my ear and asked if I had been using Q-tips. I said I had and waited for him to give me the news, “Son you’ve damaged your ear beyond repair. I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do for you.” Instead he said the nurse will be right in and you’ll be just fine in about 15 minutes. Which of course was a welcome revelation.

The nurse does her thing the doctor checks and declares me cured. He then admonished me for having used Q-tips as a tamping rod to pack the loose wax into a ball that blocked the canal. Just before I left I asked him what they had shot into my ear with syringe. He showed me a container. I don’t remember the name of the stuff but I do remember it said “Laxative and Stool Softener”. Yup, the fixed my head with laxative and stool softener.

So let this be a lesson to you (and me) - the next time someone calls you a shithead they might not be too far off the mark.

Posted in Potpourri | 9 Comments »

A new blog

Two days ago I finally had enough content to get pet-snakes.com up and running. It is dedicated to keeping snakes as pets (as if you couldn’t tell by the url…) and general care of other reptiles as well. Instead of leaving the blog posts open to commenting I installed a phpbb 2 forum on this site to facilitate discussion, and feedback. I took this approach as I wanted the main site to be more for disseminating information regarding snakes as opposed to open discussions. Currently there are 9 articles up on the site and 12 more currently in the works. I’ll be posting 2 or 3 a day until they’ve all been posted at which point I will be adding even more content with the help of some other folks. That’s the short story. The long story is how I came to decide on starting that project.

I’ve always been fascinated by snakes since I was about 5 or 6 years old. Throughout my childhood and early teens I had snakes as pets. At the time I really had no idea what I was doing so it was surprising anything made it, and sometimes it didn’t. As I got older I lost interest in snakes and became interested in all the wrong things young men become interested in. Except for one brief stint of taking care of a ball python for about 3 months I was virtually snake free for about 8 years.

Then a few months ago I had a really screwed up dream. I was being chased all over the place by a rat. This was no ordinary rat! This was Mighty Mouse’s big brother! I don’t remember much about the dream but I remember waking up thinking to myself I need a snake!, and at that the seed was planted and I began to absorb all of the information about snakes I could get my hands on. Until I was satisfied I had enough knowledge at which point I started shopping around.

The long and short of it was I got the snake and soon realized that I was beginning to forget half of what I learned. Rather than forget it all I started typing it out on the computer. After I had several potential articles lined out I put in place a plan start a new blog dedicated to snake care. At first I had intended to make it a regular blog with replies, widgets, and all of that stuff. I quickly came to realize that I wanted to monetize the blog because it lends itself well to that because of it’s tight niche focus. I’ve gone with the standard Google Adsense advertising for the moment but as it gains in popularity I will start approaching targeted businesses about partnership opportunities.

This will mark the first time I’ve truly focused on monetizing a site from almost the beginning. In order to draw in more traffic I am going to hold a contest for a free snake up to a $250.00 value. So if you or anyone you know is into snakes keep an eye on pet-snakes.com for details. If not you should still check it out anyhow. Just because you’re my friend…

And yes I know I need a header/logo. If anyone wants to offer me a nice one for under $25.00 I’m willing to talk. Just get in touch with me and we can discuss it.

Posted in Blogging, Making Money | 2 Comments »

Slammed? I don’t think so.

A few days ago I requested a slam from Slam Blogger after reading slams of both John Chow and Blogger Unleashed and a few others in his archives. To be honest I was slightly disappointed though I did come away with a few tips. Time will tell if I actually implement them however.

But let’s talk about why I was disappointed at all. Well for one thing I don’t feel that I really got “slammed”. Instead it read more like a stern critique. I wouldn’t have much to say but when you compare his previous slams to the one Ethan gave me you can’t help but notice he seems to have lost his edge. Even John chow noticed it in the third part of his slam and told him as much in the comments. Ethan acknowledged to another commenter it was a step down due to losing focus. I’m guessing that his out of town trip caused him to lose focus on slamming this blog.

I’m also wondering if he took it a bit easier than normal due to it being a request instead of someone he simply “blessed” with a slam? If anything I would almost expect it to be more brutal and more forthcoming than other ones for the simple fact that you have to be plenty stupid to request someone to rip you apart. Which lends itself nicely to being slammed. Or so it seems to me.

If you read his slam of A Blog about Nothing you’ll notice Ethan went after some of the weaker things to slam. He apparently doesn’t like that I’ve been including a footer in each post requesting subscribers to my email rss feed but aside from telling me I shouldn’t beg he didn’t really slam it.

There’s more to it, but I’ll let you read the “slam” over on Ethan’s site and decide for yourself. I personally believe he either didn’t put the effort into the slam that he has in the past or he lost his killer instinct. If the former is the case he’ll just have to work harder, but if the latter is the case I don’t see how he could be successful with the type of blog he is running if he isn’t willing (or able) to go in for the kill. Ethan are you a man or are you a mouse? Is the killer instinct still in you, or have you run out of gas already?

Regardless I encourage you to keep an eye on this guy because if he goes back to his old ways of actually slamming people he’ll make quite a name for himself. If not… ho-hum, yawn. All in all I’d say you way missed the target for some reason, but I also know you are capable of much better as I’ve read them myself.

Oh and just for you Ethan…

Posted in Blogging | 8 Comments »

NY Giants vs NE Patriots Superbowl XLII

I need to disclose a few things before I say anything.

1. I live in the middle of “Patriots country”
2. I’m not a fan of the New England Patriots
3. I’m not really a fan of football in general anymore

Patriots

Now that I have that out of the way even I have to acknowledge they hype surrounding the Patriots. Something I hadn’t really done until now for the simple fact that I wasn’t sure if the regions collective ego could contain itself much long. Well judging by the idiots I passed tonight they won’t have trouble with their ego outgrowing their capacity to handle. But like I said now I’m even going to acknowledge the hype. If you look up the word hype in the dictionary you’ll see that it basically means to create interest in something by flamboyant means. Most of the time when you hear the word hype you think of something being overhyped. Well after watching the Patriots vs the Charges yesterday afternoon the word overhyped seems pretty fitting. I’ll go on record as saying that the Chargers beat themselves because judging by what I was seeing the Patriots weren’t doing it.

Mind you I’m not trying to be an armchair quarterback, but some of Brady’s mistakes make one cringe. Most glaring is the fact that he gets intercepted 3 times. In one game. Moss was a complete non-factor the entire game. Remember the Dallas Cowboys and Michael Irvine? Randy Moss is the premier receiver in the league and not one game, but two in a row now he’s been shutdown. When Irvine was the premier receiver he wasn’t shutdown to the extent that Moss has been. Aikman, and Irvine would keep working at it until they were able to break him loose and he became a factor. I watch Moss and Brady and I’m astounded by the fact that they run a few plays and then go to something different. Nor that it matters Moss or not the Chargers beat themselves.

Giants

I listened to a portion of this game on radio but from what I heard the Packers beat themselves. From what I was hearing there was a lot of three and outs going on because Farve was making some pretty crappy play calls. Overall I’m disappointed as I was hoping to see the Packers vs the Pats for the superbowl, but in this matchup the better team certainly won.

I’m not really a giants fan but they certainly played the better ball and deserve the spot in the superbowl that they’ve secured for themselves. The game would have been totally different if Brett Farve hadn’t been trying to relive his passing glory days. As one commentator doing the play by play on radio said, “He’s no spring chicken”. 8 or 10 years ago he was a premier quarterback, but now he’s become an afterthought at best.

The game

Patriots by 2 touchdowns and a field goal. The Patriots simply have too many weapons to defend against and it is almost impossible to match them down for down and score for score.

How about your thoughts on the games?

Posted in Potpourri | 19 Comments »

US economics by the numbers: comedy or tragedy?

Do you want to hear something funny? How’s this; economic stimulus package. Say it again… eco-nom-ic stim-u-lus pack-age. Told ya it was funny. Every few seconds say that to yourself as you read the rest of this article. Trust me in short order it will stop being so funny.

3.07

That’s the average cost in dollars per gallon of regular unleaded gasoline that Americans pay to drive our cars. I know that’s peanuts to many people out there who pay 3 to 4 times that much.

16

As of 2005 that was the average distance Americans were traveling to get to work according to an ABC News poll. The number represents one single one way trip. It does not account for 5 days a week, or return trips.

24.7

Average mile per gallon rating of the American cars. Of course those are under optimal conditions assuming everything is spot-on.

10

The average number of gallons of gas held per American car

247

Average distance an American car can travel on a gallon of gas purchased for approximately $30.70

160

Average total miles per week Americans drive to work. This number is ONLY work and does not in any way reflect how much we drive outside of work.

1.5

Number of weeks, using an average of a 10 gallon tank and traveling an average of 160 miles in a week, that Americans can travel (strictly too and from work) before having to refill their tanks.

80

The average cost per month in dollars that American’s pay for gas. Keep this number in mind…

Don’t forget that number, we’ll be going back to it in a bit. In the meanwhile let’s take a look at another number. This one is the average mortgage payment in the US. $1600. Don’t forget that number either. Next number 450. That’s the average cost of health insurance per month.

One last number for you to consider. 145 billion. That’s how much our “leaders” are suggesting for an economic stimulus package. It breaks down to approximately $800 per person. That, $800 is their illustrious economic stimulus plan. Now do a little math and you’ll very quickly see why this “plan” isn’t funny, it’s morbidly disgusting and insulting. I guess that means my vote goes for tragedy.

Posted in News and Politics | 6 Comments »